Most men believe that, if they have no luck in the dating sphere, there is not much they can do about it. After all, they think that being good at picking up women is something you are naturally good at, rather than an acquired skill. However, there are a myriad of techniques and tricks that can elevate your game and help you learn how to be a pickup artist.
If you’re tired of your bad luck and want to thrive in the art of seduction, stay tuned. We’ll cover everything you ought to know about how to be a pickup artist.
Before we get into the actual tricks on how to be a pickup artist, it is important to get some things straight. Though pickup techniques are a fantastic resource that can help you a lot, they are not all you need to be successful. You need to combine them with what you already know and are comfortable with.
If you simply rely on pickup techniques, you will make dating and seduction seem like technicalities. That will, in turn, take all the fun and anticipation out of it. While there is a certain skill set you can acquire to help you with women, it is essential to still be yourself.
Put simply, being a pickup artist should not become your entire personality. Some people look at dating or seducing through a set of steps they need to complete. By doing so, they erase the fun and flirty side of it that is actually the most important.
These tricks should help you feel more confident and approachable, as well as to stand out in a crowd. However, they should not turn you into a robot that relies only on canned lines and has no appeal beyond them.
You should look at these techniques as yet another set of skills you can learn to improve your life. That way, you will ensure you actually form meaningful relationships and exude confidence on every level. Women will pick up on this, and you will become truly irresistible, and you may even get laid.
It is no lie that true confidence can never be achieved by pickup lines and techniques alone. In order to be on top of your game, you first need to feel good about yourself. If you look at most pickup artist books and guides, they will recommend that you start working on your appearance before you do anything else.
Now, we do not mean doing anything drastic. Certain dating coaches will provide you with detailed plans on what to do, how to dress, or when to work out. However, an intricate plan means little if those recommendations make you uncomfortable.
What you really need is something that will make you feel confident. Maybe it’s just a haircut, or new clothes, a new workout routine, or some new cologne. Whatever you go for, it needs to be something that you like and are comfortable with.
Taking care of yourself is crucial. Women love guys who take the time to look good and who aren’t afraid to go the extra mile to achieve it. So, start by making sure you look and feel great, and your journey to being a successful pickup artist will be off to an excellent start.
Before you do anything specific, it might be a good idea to ask for help from those you can see are already successful at picking up women. They will be able to give you insight into their experience, which can be extremely valuable as you learn how to be a pickup artist.
You don’t need to ask any specific questions if you are uncomfortable doing so. You can simply observe men in social situations and take note of their behaviors. If you do want particular advice, you can either seek it from someone you trust or look at relevant topics on online forums or social media.
These steps can help you gain at least some sense of what you need to do to better your game and attract more women. After all, you learn best by watching others do something or at least by reading about their experiences.
As soon as you gain at least a partial understanding of what you will need to make it, you can proceed to the next step.
Before you begin approaching women, you need to work on your overall social skills. This tip might seem silly, but learning how to talk easily and comfortably with different people will actually be quite helpful on your way to becoming a pickup artist. It will help you build up your confidence and be more attractive to others.
We suggest that you go easy at first. Start by saying hello and being friendly to the people you run into on a daily basis. Regardless of how insignificant it might seem right now, it is an important step everyone needs to take.
So, help your neighbor with their groceries. Smile at the people you take the morning train with. Strike up a conversation with someone as you wait in line at the grocery store. Be open and pleasant, and people will be drawn to you naturally.
With time, you will be able to talk to others more easily, and you will not feel as anxious about starting conversations. As the anxiety subsides, you will gain more confidence and eventually become ready to pick up women like a pro.
Of course, you cannot learn how to be a pickup artist without actually practicing your craft on women. Now that your overall social skills are not as rusty and you are comfortable with your appearance, it is time to go out.
The first thing you need to practice and work on is your opener. As its name suggests, it is a line you use immediately upon approaching a woman. It can make or break the entire interaction because everything that happens after depends on how successful that line is.
Thinking of a good opener in advance is essential, as you will most likely be too nervous to come up with something on the spot. So, try to be prepared, and you will appear more calm and confident. That will, in turn, make you more approachable, and the women around you will be drawn to you.
Your pickup line can be anything, quite literally. From a simple “hi” over a joke to a seemingly serious question that helps you strike up a conversation — whatever you are most comfortable with. Just smile, try to look friendly, and shoot your shot.
At this stage, you will have to endure some trial and error. You can’t immediately know what will work, and not every woman is the same. So, do not get discouraged and sad if you get rejected a few times. You are still just practicing, and you can learn a lot from the failed attempts.
An important part of learning how to be a pickup artist is evaluating and analyzing your progress. Whether you manage to hold a conversation with a woman or not, you should pay attention to her reactions to your words and actions. Such notes can help you learn what not to do or what to do more, thus improving your game.
You can do that by either writing down some of the interactions or simply by keeping track of them in your head. You can use whichever approach you want, as long as you take these interactions and actually learn something new from them.
A lot of guys get discouraged after a few rejections, and it is a normal thing. It isn’t great for your self-esteem, and it can make you feel like a failure. However, this mindset is wrong and harmful.
In reality, you cannot expect to get good at something if you don’t devote your time to trying. Approaching one woman and failing to get her attention should not make you give up on the entire journey. So, be brave, over and over again. You will learn a lot, and your social skills will only get better.
You will catch yourself actually having a good time and enjoying the chase, and it is at that point that you will be at your most attractive. Keep at it, and your effort will surely pay off.
The next step in learning how to be a pickup artist is moving into a real conversation with a woman you like. You have approached her, she has shown interest in you, smiled, and perhaps even flirted. But what now? How are you supposed to keep her engaged and interested beyond a few canned lines?
Well, the answer isn’t that simple. In most cases, the turn the conversation will take usually depends on your opener. You could talk about the party, comment on someone around you making a fool of themselves, or about the food and music. Similar general topics are an excellent way to start a convo if you aren’t confident enough to be direct.
Of course, you could also be bold and tell her you like her immediately. Ask her to dance or offer to buy her a drink. However, don’t be too pushy. Women are always on the lookout for creeps, and you need to be friendly and patient.
Most guys think that being direct and flirting outright is only an option if you are tall and conventionally good-looking. We disagree. In fact, if you feel you do not fit into these categories by default, being direct might make you stand out even more. There truly is nothing more attractive than confidence, and the women around you will notice your efforts.
Many guides on how to be a pickup artist suggest that you use negging techniques in order to manipulate women into sleeping with you. These techniques involve giving backhanded compliments, comparing the woman with others around her, and subtly pointing out what she lacks.
These actions are supposed to make the women feel inferior. In the opinion of some people, if women feel inferior, they will want to engage with you in order to prove you wrong and get validation. Of course, all of these techniques are manipulative and potentially emotionally damaging.
Those who recommend negging in approaching a woman seem to forget that dating is supposed to be mutually enjoyable. You will feel much more comfortable and better about yourself if you manage to impress a woman by genuinely complimenting her or being funny.
Resorting to manipulation and making a potential partner feel inferior will not be a good foundation for a future relationship. Even if you’re just looking for a one-night stand and nothing more, you’ll have more fun if you win over a lady with your charm rather than by being subtly rude and insulting her.
Put simply, the confidence you could gain by putting the women you want down will not last. Not only that, but it will also condition you into thinking that you need to treat dating as a game or a competition. In reality, you only win if you are both comfortable and having a good time.
So, don’t attempt any negging techniques if you want to become a truly successful pickup artist. Being original and sweet is all you will need.
The next step in your journey to learning how to be a pickup artist is, naturally, going beyond talk and actually getting to some action. Here, we are talking about anything both you and the woman you like are comfortable with.
If you’ve been talking for a while, dancing, laughing, and just having a good time in general, it might be time to try and take the next step. Make sure you pay attention to the signs and clues she is giving you, and you will be fine.
The belief that women always give out mixed signals and never clearly say what they want is just a myth. You will be able to tell what your lady wants or doesn’t want, only if you care enough to notice.
If you think kissing or touching would be welcome, go for it. Don’t be too pushy, though. Respect your lady’s boundaries, and let her be a willing participant in the whole thing. That way, you will show you are confident in your abilities and charm but still respectful enough to be a gentleman. That will win any woman over easily.
If she responds with the same passion and clearly has the same wishes as you, moving the action away from the party might be a good idea. Try to stay calm, and just enjoy yourself. Remember that she already likes you and wants to pursue the relationship further.
At this point, you have little to lose and a lot to gain. If you are only looking for a one-night stand, you can have your fun and then repeat all the above steps however many times you want to meet someone new. As long as you have a great time and feel good, you can do whatever you want.
When people wonder about learning how to be a pickup artist, they seldom think about actually settling down with someone and pursuing a long-term relationship. They usually just want to learn how to attract women and have their fun. If that is your case, it is more than fine.
But what if you actually want to connect emotionally? Can that also be considered a part of the pickup artist routine?
The answer to this question is: of course! A great pickup artist knows how to approach and impress women no matter what his end goal is. However, if you find someone you want to form a deeper connection with, the rules might have to change a little.
For one, you cannot use the same old technique on multiple dates with the same woman. It will become stale and boring soon, and she will notice. Besides, you have to let her see beyond the rehearsed lines so that she can get to know the real you. Thus, no matter how scary it might seem, you will need to let your guard down and relax in front of her.
By doing so, you will allow her to relax, too, and your connection will be able to grow and deepen. In cases like these, pickup lines and well-thought-out techniques will only take you so far. Authenticity and sincerity are always the way to go, and they will be appreciated by the right woman.
If your goal is to find a long-term partner, a pickup artist routine will be a great foundation. However, to build the relationship further, you will need more effort and more vulnerability. Show your lady that you care, don’t be scared to get emotional and real, and she’ll be yours in no time.
At this stage, you will actually be ready to help others learn how to be pickup artists. Essentially, you will be able to translate your experiences into lessons. These lessons will help others in the same way some have helped you in one of the initial steps.
In this step, your notes and musings on the entire process will become rather valuable. Namely, they will provide others with learning material they will need on their own journeys. You will be able to monitor their progress and even learn new things yourself. After all, a pickup artist’s time in school is never truly over.
Our techniques on how to be a pickup artist are supposed to help you gain more confidence and appear more attractive to women. However, they work by providing you with a sort of persona you adopt in order to feel this confidence and be on top of your game.
To truly become an excellent pickup artist, you need to merge this confident persona with who you actually are. That will come with time, as you become more and more comfortable around women and in social situations in general.
With practice, these pickup techniques will become second nature, and you will be able to perform them without thinking. It’s at this stage that you will no longer have to fake being confident. Instead, you will actually feel it in every move you make and every new interaction.
You will no longer have to wonder about how to be a pickup artist. Rather, you will be able to sift through different styles you have learned and used over time and select the ones most suitable to a specific situation. You will be equipped with an array of moves that will no longer feel like something alien or rehearsed.
And the women? Well, they will not be able to resist you.
As you have read, many techniques can elevate your game and make you more attractive to women. If you’re having trouble with your dating life and need advice on how to make it richer and more eventful, this guide might be just what you need.
A great pickup artist starts by working on bettering himself physically. The goal is to feel comfortable and good in your skin. Then, you proceed with improving your social skills, coming up with great openers, and going beyond casual talk. Of course, remaining respectful and friendly throughout it all is pivotal for success.
After these initial steps, it is essential to remember that pickup techniques can only take you so far. To paint a picture: these techniques are the training wheels you need to learn how to ride a bike successfully. After some time, you will be ready to take them off and be confident on your own.
We hope this guide tells you all you need to know about how to be a pickup artist. Remember to stay true to yourself through the process, and you will surely win any worthy woman over easily. Good luck!
In the past twenty years or so, the hookup culture has slowly overshadowed traditional dating. Moreover, dating apps have brought us plenty of choices and potential casual sex that is only a swipe away. But now we have a new problem — how to get women to like you and choose YOU over other options?
So, if you are looking for ideas that will make you stand out in the sea of other guys trying to get laid, you have come to the right place. We have gathered hacks from hookup artists and tips from women and mashed them together into this perfect guide on how to propose causal sex without looking like a jerk.
The first thing you should do when planning on picking up a woman is determining what kind of woman you want. Do you want a drunk college girl? A lonely cougar? A businesswoman on a short visit to your city?
If you know what type of woman you are looking for, it will be easier for you to decide where to go. Going to the right place will give you a larger pool of ladies that are up to your taste.
Here are the five simplest and most popular places to find an easy hookup from our experience:
However, keep in mind that, in this setting, you will probably seem creepy if you don’t look young enough to pass as a student.
If you find a lady attractive, wait until she chooses a product to strike up a conversation. A person enters some kind of light trance when shopping. In this state of decision making she should be less likely to turn you down.
However, bear in mind that this is unverified information. Still, it doesn’t hurt to try the next time you’re grocery shopping.
When you’ve found the right place to go hunting, the next thing you should do is adjust your expectations. The women you meet might not be up to your standards. But, hey, you are not going to introduce them to your parents.
So, you are in the right place, and there are many girls to choose from. But how to get women to like you and want to have sex with you?
Although getting turned down is almost a guaranteed part of the game, we will share a way to minimize the chance of rejection — screening. By carefully screening women, you can save time and pick the one girl that is most likely to go home with you.
The screening process consists of three phases:
And we are going to talk about all of them throughout this text.
Women love to give little cues if they are sexually attracted to you. So, pay attention to the girl’s body language — this is the first step in the screening process.
If she’s interested in you, she’ll more than likely do one of the following things:
If you are getting any of these, it’s a good sign. If you’re getting multiple, you are likely to take her home tonight.
Moreover, you can use your body language to show your interest in someone. For example, direct eye contact will let the lady know you want her. If you’re in a group, keep your body partially turned toward the person you like. Your aim is to make her feel special by singling her out.
Yes, you should be the one to approach the girl, not the other way around. Although there are girls who don’t mind being the one who takes the lead, chances are your lady is waiting for you to do it. Don’t miss your opportunity by waiting too long.
If you were wondering how to get women to like you even if you don’t have a lot of money, nice cars, or expensive watches, we have one thing to say: you only need the right attitude.
When approaching someone, you need to walk the thin line of being domineering but assertive enough, so you don’t come off as brash. Women like men who are confident, know what they want, and are not afraid to ask for it. But at the same time, being openly crude and pushy is a major turn-off.
The key to an easy hookup is honesty. If you only want to get laid, be straightforward about it. You don’t have to lead the girl on. Chances are, she is looking for the same thing as you.
However, keep in mind that being honest doesn’t mean you have to be rude. And that’s our next tip on how to get women to like you.
All these hacks on how to get women to like you won’t help if you do not mind your language. Asking a stranger for sex is like asking them to give you their money. They are more likely to say no than anything else. That’s why we advise you to tread carefully. Definitely don’t get into kinky stuff like telling her you want to pull her hair during sex.
Starting a conversation with dirty comments about her body or telling her what you want to do to her will earn you a big, fat rejection. Behaving in such a manner shows your lack of confidence and social intelligence.
Your goal here is the second part of the screening process: flirting. Try to tease the woman a bit. If she teases you back, you have a game.
The main advice on how to get women to like you is to understand their perspective. You want to have sex, that’s okay, but it’s not only about you. There is another person involved. So, you want to make her feel appreciated.
The best way to make her feel special is to focus your attention only on her. Don’t look at other women. Also, listen to her and pay attention to the stories she shares. You don’t have to remember them the next day, but at this moment, she has to be the center of your attention.
Women are usually insecure about their looks. Praise her dress, eyes, hips, etc. However, do not overdo it because it’ll sound phony.
New data confirms that women are sexually aroused by being desired. This information means that if you let her know how much you want her, it makes her want to have sex with you. But remember, be careful how you phrase it.
After a bit of chatting and flirting, when you see that she likes you, it’s time to become more sexually assertive. Depending on the situation, you can ask her to dance or lean in for a kiss.
If that works, you have reached the final stage of screening. Here you ask your girl to come out with you to have some fresh air or a cup of coffee at your place. You don’t have to mention sex since you are both aware of where this is going.
It’s essential that you bear in mind that she can decide to withdraw at any point. It doesn’t matter that she was giving you all the right signals.
Did you get shot down? It sucks, we know. But it’s not an excuse to be aggressive. Just move on. The night is young, and you know all the right moves.
So, back to the original question: how to get women to like you and hook up with you? The answer is simple: find the perfect place, pay attention, and choose carefully. With the right attitude and the proper wording, you will get laid in no time.
They say a picture is worth 1000 words, which is very true in many situations. There is no exception to this rule on Tinder. You are far from alone if you haven’t mastered the art of sending pics on this platform.
Even though they took away the option to send photos through chat, it’s okay that they’ve limited our options although it’s less convenient.
Today I’d like to share some things that you should avoid and a few alternative ways to send pics. You’ll stand out in the crowd, because most people haven’t mastered the Tinder photo sending experience.
For the sake of clarity, I’m going to share this information with you in two different parts. I’ll tell you what to do on the app itself. I’ll also tell you the best ways to go about sending pics once you’ve moved beyond Tinder.
And let’s not forget about the typical mistakes that everyone should avoid when sending pics.
These days this app is considered limited when compared to other more effective hook up apps. Why is it limited? Because so many guys have abused the system and sent girls dick pics when they were unsolicited. This caused female users to leave the app altogether, which in turn caused Tinder to take steps to get them back.
But this presents a definite learning experience. Girls will occasionally want to see a picture of your junk and they’ll have no problem asking you. Otherwise there are some other options to consider.
You can really make a conversation livelier by sending funny reactions and amusing one-liners sending these moving images.
Tinder provides a limited library, for sure, but believe it or not there are a lot of funny and obscure choices to pick from.
If you use these gifs right you can make your messages really stand out and provide extra emphasis. A favorite opener of mine with a match and no bio and a boring profile is a combination of a gif and a dad joke. It gets a really hearty laugh most of the time and it always makes me smile.
Like the bulk of things related to Tinder messaging, it’s best to experiment with different gifs to see which ones work best for you. I can’t necessarily tell you the best way to send pics on this platform but this certainly will help you stand out.
Although this fad has definitely come to an end, Tinder apparently never got the memo and this is an option to use on their app. You can send them ironically from time to time and it’s a lot of fun and somewhat amusing.
Most people haven’t even seen a Bitmoji in a few years. But with good timing and the right context this can actually giveyou and the person you’re communicating witha sincere belly laugh.
Take time to search the app and look at the various options as you chat with someone. Know what’s available for different potential scenarios and come up with some funny and useful combinations that you can deploy during conversations.
Just remember to use Bitmojis sparingly. They’re definitely dated but they certainly work as ironic humor from time to time.
On a side note, this feature is only available in Tinder if you have Snapchat.
After you’ve connected with a girl on Tinder and you’ve had some conversations, it’s time to move off of the platform altogether. You can do this by moving to text messaging, Snapchat, Instagram, or another platform that you prefer. No matter which one you choose, this is the best way to send pics to Tinder matches and it’s the closest option that you’ll get.
Younger matches often prefer Snapchat or Instagram, and older women often want to get your phone number and vice versa. I prefer getting phone numbers as well, because this eliminates the people using Tinder to try and get extra Instagram followers.
No matter which way you go, just remember that the rules remain the same.
Never send unsolicited dick pics! Take this seriously no matter what.
As I’ve said already, it’s never okay to send these pics. I don’t know where this idea came from, but most women aren’t dying to see your man meat. You’re the one in the wrong, unless they ask you of course!
When a guy sends girls a selfie, they typically tend to laugh whether it was meant as a funny pic or not. So be prepared for this reaction at all times.
Believe it or not, it’s better to be ironic with your selfies because it’s a lot better than posing and looking like a jackass.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a pro model or you’re the best person for taking photos, it’s still really awkward to look at guy selfies. Don’t ask me why. But this is especially true if you’re sending the selfie to a girl that you haven’t met before. You should avoid this because it isn’t the best decision.
I personally haven’t sent a selfie to a Tinder match in a really long time. Do you know why? Here’s how it went the last time:
Girl: “Wow, that was actually very funny. You’re a barrel of laughs!”
Me: “I tend to take things very seriously if you haven’t noticed lol.”
Girl: “Well, I have to admit that I’m pretty excited to meet you. Thanks for making me laugh haha.”
I purposely did this in order to get her to laugh. A friend happened to take a funny picture of me in a costume at a Halloween party and I decided to send it to her. But for the most part, during Tinder conversations, it’s very rare when I actually send a selfie. I’ve maybe done it two or three times in my entire life.
Just like with selfies, the ladies aren’t particularly enthralled with guys who send shirtless pictures. It doesn’t matter if you’re ripped beyond belief and have huge muscles. Women tend to react three ways based on what I’ve noticed from my female friends. They react like:
Like sending dick pics, certain situations will present themselves where a girl actually wants this type of photo. But on most occasions, you should avoid this unless you’re asked.
Situational photos are an excellent choice to start fun conversations. They often lead to exciting experiences because you’re giving this person a look at your life. It’s a lot better to send this type of photo than answer dozens of questions.
What is a situational photo? Sending a picture of you at a Halloween party like the one I mentioned earlier is a great example. Or you could send pictures of you and your friends when you’re out at a local bar. Or take a picture of you and your coworkers at a local café.
The bulk of the photos that I send women on Tinder are situational. Why? They’re often funny and also very effective.
The only other situation that requires pics on Tinder is sending pictures of things that I believe they’d enjoy.
I matched up with someone that really liked hiking. On a previous occasion we even talked about hiking. I recently finished hiking and the summit presented amazing views. One of my friends even took an awesome photo with me at the top of the peak. I sent the girl this picture and a few others from the hiking trip. Since she hadn’t hiked this trail yet, she was really happy to see these pics. She wanted to know what it looked like from the top and I was able to help her get a bird’s eye view.
I don’t send this type of pic too often either, but I do on rare and special occasions. I only do it when I know the person shares the same interests as me. This often works wonders and these pictures are usually well received. And it also gives the match an even closer glimpse into my life.
This pretty much wraps up everything I wanted to tell you about sending pics on Tinder. Even though it’s not really possible anymore, you certainly have options and I shared the best ones with you today.
It’s time to have fun and get creative using Bitmojis and gifs while using the app. After you’ve taken it to the next level, your options open up and you have many choices that you can consider once you’ve gotten off the app.
Important note: it doesn’t really matter what you’re sending, just remember to really sit down and think about it before you press send. Think about the person you’re sending it to, their interests, and potential ways that they might respond. It’s always a lot of fun to send pics, but at the same time if you send the wrong type of pic it could end up ruining your chances with this person.
On the other hand, if the person doesn’t have a sense of humor about your pic this is a good way to disqualify them. I find it important to connect with people that have similar senses of humor. I really am not interested in hooking up with someone that seems too dry.
What do you think about this tutorial? Did I miss anything? Leave a comment below.
It’s never a great sign when a girl stops responding to your texts and grows cold. But it isn’t the end of the world yet. You never know what’s happening in her life. And in modern dating, knowing what to send as a text when she stops responding is an important part of the process and just as valuable to have in your knowledge bank as knowing what to text a girl whose number you just got.
Sure, it can get really frustrating and you’ll potentially make bad decisions. But focus on taking your time, and read this information thoroughly. Try not to overreact or rush into anything and make a calm and confident decision.
Throughout this article, I’ll share some of my best pointers that’ll make it easier to get someone to want to text you again. Some basic information is in order as well as the three excellent examples. Truthfully, sometimes it’s going to be impossible to save a situation like this. But it can’t hurt to try.
Before we dive deeply into how to text girls that no longer respond, let’s acknowledge that you may have been spending time on the wrong dating site. But truthfully, it shouldn’t matter if you meet her shopping in a grocery store or on a hook up site, because these tips definitely work.
This one is really important so pay attention. If she no longer responds to your texts, sending her a bunch of texts that she doesn’t answer isn’t going to solve your problem.
I can tell you this one with 100% certainty because I’ve been on the other end of this more times than I care to admit. I either get really busy or the interest begins to wane and suddenly she’s bombarding me with text messages, invites, follow-ups, and other annoying messages.
If you take away one thing from this, give her at least 2-3 days of space before sending another message. She may still be really interested but have gotten genuinely busy. If you don’t hear from her within that time, allow her the space she needs which she’ll definitely appreciate.
This shows the girl that you aren’t clingy or needy. It also shows that you’re willing to provide her with breathing room.
Even though romantic comedies say otherwise, being overbearing and needy isn’t romantic and it’s not very charming either.
To add to the point just made, you should definitely stick to this next rule. If you message a girl on two different occasions and she doesn’t respond, it’s definitely time to back off.
Why? If you go overboard from this point, you’re going to seem like you’re needy. And it’s going to seem like you either aren’t willing to give her space or you aren’t getting the message. Neither scenario is very favorable to you.
How do you get in touch with her at this point? You don’t try at all. It’s time to move on to other parts of your life and provide her with space.
Try messaging her at another time within two or three days of the last unanswered message.
This girl could’ve gone cold on you for millions of potential reasons. Most of those reasons will have nothing to actually do with you, but it’s still good to try and figure it out anyway. Somewhere along the line you may have made a mistake and you should learn from it.
It’s possible that you’ve seemed too needy. You could have been too available to her and it didn’t look right. Or the opposite is true and you were so busy that she moved on. If you don’t recognize any of these issues, then there’s nothing wrong and it may have not worked for another reason that has not to do it you.
In this case, you can send her one last message and attempt to get her interested again. If not, you should move on to different matches.
To get better at the dating game, you should focus on learning how to approach and attract women.
No matter your overall weaknesses, these situations should lead to working on refining your dating strategy. Always stay casual and classy. It doesn’t look good to exude inpatient sarcasm or cynical humor. Saying something foolish like, “It’s great how you ignore me for a week at a time,” will never turn into a productive conversation.
Focus on being casual and remember that this is a real person who has a life and things going on as well.
You aren’t trying to make her feel bad, so keep that in mind.
After you get ghosted by a girl, you may experience major frustration and attempt to hold her accountable. These emotions often come to the surface when you try to figure out how to handle it when she stops sending you texts. No matter what, telling her that it’s rude and that you shouldn’t have been ghosted really looks bad.
You’re undoubtably right but this isn’t the point of dating. I know for a fact that you’ll never have another good date with her again if you make her feel like a terrible person in a text. Cool off for one or two days and then think about the next message to send her.
If you’re still angry even given enough space, you should consider dating someone else and forget about this girl. Feeling frustration and anger towards someone and texting about it isn’t going to get the response you want if you get a response at all.
You can handle this situation in a few different ways. Keep in mind that based on everything I’ve shared so far, it’s always smart to keep things civilized.
From a personal standpoint, the example I’m sharing first is the one that I use most of the time. It’s honest and simple and also keeps the door opened. Even better, you will not sound needy with this choice.
“Hi, I guess you have a lot going on right now and my schedule is really busy too. I have other priorities that I should focus on at the moment, but if you’d like to meet up again in the future just let me know and hopefully, we’ll be able to figure something out.”
After this text, I’ll occasionally get a message telling me that they’re sorry about everything because their week is been really hectic. In other cases, I might not hear anything and I’m okay with that too. The main thing is you have to stick to the heart of the message. You have to let her go if you don’t hear from her.And don’t keep badgering her a week later.
Like the majority of people using Tinder, I’ll use the app for a while and then stop for reasons of my own. In this situation, I’ll use my second example. It’s direct, honest, and real and it isn’t pressuring or rude.
“Hi, I’m taking a break from Tinder right now once this week is finished. It doesn’t seem like you’re too interested which is okay, but if I’m reading the situation wrong feel free to let me know.”
As for my last example, I like to use this with women who are direct and straightforward. They typically appreciate straight shooter communication so this really works well.
“Hi, I don’t tend to chase women and you don’t seem very interested in me. If you’d like to get a drink in the future just let me know. Good luck with Tinder otherwise!”
Each of these examples is simple and to the point. They are clear and let the girl know that you aren’t waiting for her forever. You give her the opportunity to contact you, so it becomes her choice. This is far from needy as long as you stick to the message, because ultimately that’s what you’re attempting to do anyway.
This information and these examples are what you should do when a girl stops texting you. Just remember to remain respectful and ready to move on to a different woman, because things will otherwise end up going badly if you apply too much pressure.
There isn’t a scary learning curve to figure out how to get a text back after she stopped responding. Let her ignore you if that’s her thing because you likely have a better chance of connecting with someone else anyway.
It doesn’t matter if you get her number from an app like Fling or if you met her one night while going out, you’ll eventually have to send her a text. Knowing exactly what to text her once you have her number is a challenging situation for many guys.
You need to remember that it only requires some practice in order to get this first text right. And the truth is, getting yourself in the right headspace is going to make this text a heck of a lot easier.
Whether you know it or not, you have a whole lot riding on getting this first text message right and many guys have a tendency to think too much about it. The overall goal of the information I’m sharing is to help you crush the mental barriers blocking you from success. Once this is possible and achievable, you’ll know exactly what you need to say to this girl after you’ve gotten her number and it will become very easy for every girl after this.
If you’re like most young guys just starting out in the dating world, you’re feeling a great deal of insecurity on a personal level which is creating massive anxiety. You feel uncertain and do not know what to do, and you’re worried that she may not want to hear from you among other things. You might not even know precisely why she actually gave her number to you.
If confidence is still something troubling you because you lack it, we definitely have some great information to share with you today. This info will make it simple to boost your confidence, and your dating life will improve tremendously over the long run.
I just started and I’m already throwing out the word confidence which may make you feel a little bit intimidated. But believe it or not, the fact that you’re going to communicate for the first time via text is actually a major advantage. You aren’t on the phone or talking in person, so you can actually articulate your thoughts and think them through before sending them.
This girl likely doesn’t give her phone number to every guy that comes along. She’s likely very excited and waiting to hear from you. This should make you feel confident already since she was willing to give you her number.
If your confidence is still lacking, you have time to work up the courage to feel confident and strong. You can fake it until you make it, as the saying goes. This isn’t a good long-term strategy because you need to develop real-world confidence, but it’s a great way to get started nonetheless and it will help you have success in the short-term. But real confidence is what’s going to give you success over the long term.
It’s okay to get flustered and panicky before sending your message. But, no matter how you feel on the inside, your message has to exude confidence and calm. This is how you are going to make a great first impression with this girl.
Are you having a tough time figuring out what confidence looks like? Think about some of the classically confident movie and TV characters. James Bond is a great example. Harvey Spector from Suits is another smooth and confident man with the ladies. And Gatsby definitely has massive confidence. Think about these characters and think about their personalities and headspace and see if you can get inside of it.
These characters epitomize confidence and suave. You aren’t trying to be an exact replica of them, but you want to take some of their best confident characteristics and use them in a way that is personal to you.
This technique will help you send the right text message that doesn’t sound too needy or weak. Some examples that are very effective include…
“Hey Sally, I had a great time meeting you the other night. It was so much fun spending time with you. Do you have time to grab a cup of coffee soon?”
Another possibility to consider using New York City as an example location:
“Hey Sally, I had a fun time last night. There’s a new bar opening on Fifth Avenue. Would you like to come with me to check it out next Thursday?”
Talk to her on equal footing and take the lead in your conversations. This will set you on the right path right away.
Deciding what to text a girl once you got her number can be a really anxious experience, and many guys end up sounding way too formal at first. If you’ve spent an hour analyzing your quick text message, you’ve likely made it really impersonal by editing the crap out of it.
If this seems like you, read the text as if it was one you were sending to one of your good friends. When inviting out a girl, think about the way you would invite a friend for a night out.
If you were just texting to say hi to start a conversation, how would you do this with a friend? You’d likely mention a nickname, or reference a joke that only the two of you and a few others might understand, or you’d make a laid-back comment.
You have to be casual to be successful in modern dating. If you’re too formal it will sound awkward and forced.
After a night out drinking, say something like, “How you holding up?” This is short, friendly, to the point, and casual but it doesn’t put you in the friend zone.
Everybody knows about the three-day rule, right? Some people actually pay attention to this foolish rule. But this is a relic that no one should ever listen to anymore.
In today’s dating world everything happens very quickly. Say you meet her out on a Friday night. If you wait until Monday, it may already be too late.
She’s likely on a lot of dating apps just like you. Three days means she may have had an additional 40 matches and lots of other conversations happening at the same time.
Your face-to-face meeting gave you an advantage. But you could easily throw that advantage away if you wait three days or just way too long.
Using websites and dating apps is a great idea. But when you meet a girl while going out, you’re actually ahead of the competition and you want to stay there at all times.
No matter what went on, getting to the point where she gave you her number means you definitely had a conversation. There was likely playful banter involved and private jokes.
Creating private jokes is easy. Comment on something that she was wearing or something that she did while you were out together. It’s about observational humor and the joke itself doesn’t even matter. It’s the personalization and it’s something that should be definitely mentioned when you text her for the first time.
Why? This will remind her about the great time you had in each other’s company the other night when you met. It’s also a great way to build rapport.
I typically tend to use jokes about myself. I like to comment on my outrageous phone case or my crazy hairstyle.
Who knows? We may even have talked about this the night that we met.
So,I end up saying something like this in my first text:
“Hey Sally, remember the guy with the amazing hair? That’s me! I have an idea for a fun Friday night. But you have to promise to keep your hands off of me!”
Or another possibility…
“Hi Sally, how are you getting over your hangover? Let me know if you recover by Sunday because I have an awesome idea for a fun night out. I don’t want to ruin the surprise, so let me know what you think!”
Using stupid and goofy humor is always a great icebreaker and it works for me. It may work for you too. Just remember to add private jokes that personalize the message. This casual banter will make her feel less awkward and give her the confidence to send you a funny message back. She’ll feel natural talking to you again like she did the night out at the bar.
Easy banter makes for fun conversations. It helps build rapport and makes everything less complicated. You’ll have a much simpler time getting in the correct headspace as well.
Please use these tips to your advantage the next time you get a girl’s number for the first time. You’ll have a lot of fun communicating with her right off the bat and it will set the tone for your next date in a much more positive way. Believe it or not, these effective and simple messages really work and you won’t blink twice the next time you have to text a girl for the first time.
Our work is a big part of our lives, and because of that, we spend a lot of time surrounded by our coworkers. So it’s normal if, at some point, you develop romantic feelings for someone at your workplace. Single life is great, but unconsciously we all search for that special someone to share our life with, and perhaps you may have already found your special someone, but you’re not sure if she feels the same way. Is she just being nice because you are her coworker, or could it mean that she is into you? Could this be one of the signs a female coworker likes you?
You could just walk up to her and be upfront with her about it. However, if she doesn’t feel the same, it can create an uncomfortable situation between you. So it’s natural to feel insecure about taking the first move without knowing her true intentions. Luckily I may just be able to help you. Here I will share the most common signs that women tend to share when they are interested in someone at work.
I’m about to share with you a few signs a female coworker likes you.
A little bit of flirting or a sweet hello, first thing in the morning can all be signs a female coworker likes you, but it can also mean that she is just being nice. It can be tricky, to say the least, to know for sure if she likes you. But if she is interested in you, she may be sending enough signs to let you know that she likes you more than just a coworker.
If she takes time to greet you in the morning personally, this can be a clear sign that she is fond of you. Taking her time to personally say hello to you clearly shows an interest. However, this can also be seen as a friendly move, particularly if she says hello to everyone. One way to know if this may be a sign that she likes you is by recognizing how she greets you. Does she walk all the way to you just to say hello? Does she smile a little bit more when she does it?
Her facial expressions can be the key here. Women tend to glow when they are around the guy they like. She may even ask you how you are because she is genuinely interested in knowing. This, of course, can be another sign that she likes you.
There is a fine line between a woman being nice to a guy she likes, from a woman being nice to a guy she sees as a friend. It can sometimes not be very clear, but notifying how she behaves around others can give you an insight if she is acting differently around you.
Does she approach you with simple tasks that you know she could do without your help? It’s clear that she wants to spend as much time with you as possible. Finding her way to your desk to ask you something when she could have asked someone who was closer to her can be a sign that she wants to use any excuse to be around you. This is a clear call for attention that you should consider when wondering if she is interested in you.
If she makes her way to get closer to you during lunch or even when she is having a hard day and ends up finding comfort with you, this is a sign that she likes you. One of the things that women tend to look for when searching for a love interest is a connection. They crave comfort, someone they can rely on, so if she finds comfort in you, this can be a sign that she sees you as more than just a coworker. It’s also an excellent opportunity for you to get closer to her.
This can be a clear indication that she is interested in you. Most of us enjoy work functions because it gives us a chance to be social with our coworkers. So if she is interested in knowing if you are going to attend, she clearly wants to spend time with you. Perhaps you’re even the only reason that she is planning on going.
Even though this is still work-related, it’s also a chance for her to spend some extra time with you, so of course, she will show interest in knowing if you are going to be there.
Making an effort to speak to you out of work is a perfect way to recognize if she is interested in you. It shows that she wants to spend more time with you. Texting or calling on your days off is a clear sign that she misses having you around. If she is making jokes or asking how you are out of the blue, it’s pretty evident that she likes you.
We tend to leave work at work, and even though we create friendly relationships at work, making an effort to reach you out of work hours just to talk to you shows that she is interested in building a connection out of work, and maybe even a casual encounter.
When we like someone, it’s hard not to make them the center of our attention. If she talks about you, it’s a sign that you are in her mind a lot. Making jokes or trying to annoy you is all fair games to get your attention. She may want you to know that she is talking about you and make it obvious. Another sign that can show you that she likes you is the way she talks about you.
If she uses us instead of you and me, it’s a clear sign that she sees the potential in you and her as a couple. She may even give you a nickname, another clear sign that she sees you differently from the other coworkers.
It can be a little tricky to separate a flirty conversation that can be a sign that a female coworker likes you from a coworker that is just naturally flirty towards everyone. But being flirty is one of the obvious signs that someone is interested in you. Does she flirt with others the same way too? If not, then she is definitely making an effort to let you know that she likes you.
If she is a natural flirt, then observing if she flirts differently with you could be the way to figure out if she is interested in you or just really friendly.
Eye gazing is a very well known way of flirting. Eyes do speak louder than our mouths sometimes, and it’s one of our ways of showing the other person that we are into them. How many times have you noticed someone looking at you and looking away bashfully once you noticed them? If you frequently catch her gazing at you, this is by far one of the biggest clues that she likes you.
Next time she looks at you, hold that gaze and let her know that you are looking back at her. She may smile or even blush at your response. If she does that, you will instantly know that she is interested in you.
Sometimes we miss the obvious signs that someone is interested in us. However, the other people around you will have a different perspective and notice things you can miss. So if your coworkers tell you that she is interested in you, there’s a big chance that they are right. This is a huge sign that a female coworker likes you without a doubt.
Not only should you really pay attention when your coworkers say something like that, but it would also be a good idea to ask them what makes them think that. The chances are that you have noticed why they would think that but miss it entirely. It’s completely normal to miss those things, but if the people around you have noticed, then you should take that as a confirmation that she is interested in you.
Little details matter, and when we like someone, we notice those little changes. For instance, women have a great eye for detail, so if she points out a different hair cut or a change in your usual way to dress up for work, this is a clear sign that she is paying attention to you.
We spend a lot of time with our coworkers, sometimes even more than with our own family, so it’s normal for your coworkers to notice every little change about you. However, most of your coworkers won’t point it out. If she makes an effort to let you know that she has noticed, this can be an indication that she likes you.
It’s normal for us to show interest in our coworker’s personal lives. Yet if she is asking more follow-up questions and is really paying attention, this shows you that she is genuinely interested in getting to know you. When someone asks you about your hobbies or asks you some personal questions, it means that they want to know you more deeply, and very often, we tend to do that when we are into someone.
You should engage in the conversation and get to know her as well. See how she behaves during the conversation. If she is paying attention to every word and seems totally engaged in what you are saying, this is a sign that she is interested in you and not only attempting to make small talk.
Jealousy is a clear indication that someone likes you. And I’m not suggesting for you to start flirting with every female coworker, just to test this theory out. But if another female coworker approaches you, pay attention to how she reacts to this during and after. If she likes you, she will likely look annoyed or somewhat bothered by it.
Some people are less jealous than others, so this may not be conclusive, yet there is a high probability that she will generate some kind of reaction to your contact with other female workers.
Just like eye contact, physical contact is another way that people use to flirt. Passing by you and purposely brushing into you. Or during a conversation, highly touching your shoulder or arm can be a sign that she is interested in you. Some people tend to be shyer, but it’s almost impossible to keep your hands to yourself when you like someone.
Also, if you return the gesture and slightly brush her arm, you will be able to see her reaction. This is a great sign a female coworker likes you. You’ll be able to just know. It’s quite obvious to recognize when someone is into you when you slightly imply physical touch on someone that you think likes you. It’s also a very subtle gesture, and even if she is not into you, it’s improbable that she will be offended.
Even though human resources may not be thrilled when coworkers begin a relationship, the truth is that 16% of the married couples started to date at a workplace. This may be a result due to us spending a huge part of our lives in our workplace. No matter the reasons, the reality is that if you share chemistry with someone you work with, you should pursue it if both of you feel the same way.
Hopefully, after reading this, you will be able to know some of the signs a female coworker likes you and find out if she is interested in you. If that’s the case, you should return the signs and let her know that you are interested as well. Please do not hold on for too long, or she may think that you are not interested in her and move on. Take a chance and invite her for a drink or something and see how it goes.
In the worst-case scenario, you will have no chemistry and remain friends, but if there is a chance that she likes you the same way you like her, then you may be losing an opportunity of being with someone that will make you incredibly happy. Can you really afford to miss a chance like that?
Not everyone looking to hookup has money. There are plenty of people out there willing to give others a chance, but all too often they find that they can’t afford to take a chance. I’ve been in that position before and quite frankly, it stinks. The good news is that there are plenty of free dating sites that are legit and yes, totally free! If you’re trying to successfully date on a budget, then this list will do you good.
Before diving into the free dating sites, I want to make one thing crystal clear that if you can afford to pay for a premium membership, you’re far better off doing so. Chances are you’ll get better customer support, better connections, and better chances of hooking up, but that doesn’t mean free dating sites don’t work.
Give some of the ones listed below a try and let me know how things work out. Oh, and before diving in, please understand that going on dates does cost money. Make sure you set aside the average amount based on this article before trying any of the networks. Save coin to make sure you’ve got that covered or it’s going to be a boring date.
As previously stated, I’ve done my best to list out the top 25 free dating sites for those looking to keep their cash in their pocket. Keep in mind that some free dating sites may have upgrade options that do cost money, but everything listed below is 100% free to register and use.
Match.com is one worth joining for many reasons. Aside from the fact that it’s free to join, the site has been around for nearly 25 years and the database of users is massive. The method of matching users seems to work well. Free users have the ability to browse profiles, even flirt with others by liking them.
You can even communicate both ways via messenger. An appealing feature, giving the lack of ability in many networks today. Now, if you’re looking to take full advantage, you can upgrade for a low $16.99 per month if you take the annual commitment. Again, not required to succeed here.
If you’ve searched for free dating, then you’ve run into Plenty of Fish. This site has the works and all for free. The Plenty of Fish website was started by Marcus Frind, a programmer with zero intentions of building a massive dating network. But it quickly became the go-to for many without cash. What attracts people to POF? It’s the anonymous browsing, the free chatting, free emailing, and rating that members are able to do.
The platform does have some relationship/personality tests to help weed out the dead weight and match you quicker. Search by personality and you might get lucky. I’ll add that the site recently had a makeover and it’s a slick, friendly look. There is an upgrade option to consider if you want to commit. That’s going to set you back $81.40 for 12 months of premium access. They’ve got a $35.40 off as well you might want to check out.
It’s not just mainstream dating sites that are free. In fact, one of the best hookup sites on the planet is free to join. The Fling.com dating network is a winner and one that anyone can join. It’s completely free to register with lots of perks in the secure member area.
Live chats, messaging, sending winks, and top-notch customer support. This decade-old network seems to have it all and it’s built for people looking to purely hookup and nothing more.
As I said, there are lots of perks here and it’s definitely on the list of worth checking out. Upgrading to premium costs less than a cup of coffee at the hipster cafe down the street. Put the latte on hold and join. You’ll thank me later.
This network is free and a top choice for those looking for a serious relationship. The network has over 2 million users and it’s a top choice for busy professionals looking for a dating platform at no cost. They are pretty strict here and need to be in order to maintain elite status while remaining free. Free members have limited experience here, but the quality of users is high.
If you’re not upgraded then you will not be able to view the profile details of others. This means you can match but not dig deeper. Hey, they protect member data, you can’t be mad at that right. As for who’s using this network, it’s professionals with degrees and goals in life. I guess that’s why they call it Elite Singles.
With Zoosk, you’ll get over 40M members looking to date. The site is safe and secure due to being connected with social sites like Facebook and Instagram. Free members are able to do a lot here, maybe not everything that they want, but a lot.
You’ll get free chat communications, free monthly messaging, sending smiles, likes, and more. However, if you want full unlimited access you’re going to have to upgrade today. The company offers various membership lengths.
Okay, we’re finally getting to the really good stuff. AFF.com also known as Adult Friend Finder, is one network that only caters to adults looking for a hookup. Now, that said, they’ve got a great free membership option worth talking about here.
You can communicate with members, you can even meet up for a local date, but in order to get the best of everything you need to upgrade. I mean all the deals, live cams, chat sessions, and more. That’s going to require an upgrade no doubt about it. However, it’s a free site that leads to free hookups if you play your cards right.
I wanted to include Facebook Dating because it’s a new component of the platform and it’s entirely free. That said, I’m not 100% sold on using FB for dating purposes. It’s just too connected to everything and it rubs me the wrong way at times. Either way, I’ll mention why I’ve decided to include it here…
A dating app that was first launched in 2012, Coffee Meets Bagel is responsible for creating millions of matches, literally! In fact, 50M matches and counting for daters that kick things off for free. I love that this is on Google and Apple, not restricting any users anywhere at all. Now free members are limited daily, but it’s still worth using.
Gay men love a great deal and why shouldn’t they! Grindr.com is perhaps the most commonly known gay hookup network and it’s 100% free to use. Yes, I said totally free.
The Google and Apple apps both offer some cool upgrades, but they’re not necessary really. If hooking up with gay men is your thing, then this is by far the best app for you.
This is touted as the better alternative to Tinder. The Bumble app was created by a former employee of Bumble and if you’re a female, then chances are you prefer this to Tinder. The security is top-notch and it’s free to join, no credit card needed. Whether you’re located in NYC, Boston, Vegas, Miami, or any other big city, it’s worth trying.
Yes, Tinder is free and can be used by anyone that joins. You’ll get messaging, live chatting, connections, and more all for free. The Tinder.com app works on any phone and it’s a solid economical option for anyone.
Horny people out there that don’t have money, want to hookup. The infamous Uber related dating site and app called Uberhorny.com is an option. If you’re able to use a mobile phone or computer, then you’ll be able to join 100% free of charge. Sure there are premium options but this network is for the horny and for free.
The days of settling for someone your age are over. Many people are searching for younger girls and they’re willing to pay them for companionship. These are sugar daddies who pay for time with someone (one way or another).
Seeking Arrangement aka Seeking.com is a free platform for women to upgrade the quality of men they connect with. Lots of girls get what they want and men willing to pay the price get their fill too. It’s a win-win and free to join.
A 100% free alternative to Snapchat for those looking for something more adult-oriented. This is what you need to consider using if you want to send snaps without a care in the world.
Yes, you’ll be able to snap and connect with others for free at first registration. They do have an upgrade option, but that’s not required. However, I typically suggest going for it.
Why Instagram? Well, it’s free and a platform that many people use to send messages to others. Instagram is a 100% free app that’s available to everyone. Now, direct messages can be invasive, but some people feel that they work great. It’s a free option that can lead to hookups.
The latest from the Global Personals Media company based in Miami, FL. They specialize in creating networks meant to connect people for casual-only fun.
AssTok.com is for the TikTok enthusiast and the site is free to join. There are not many members here but the free features are worth checking out and I know people are joining like crazy.
You’re able to check out all the hot photos and TikTok videos submitted to members. That’s probably the best perk of all.
For the people looking for something edgy, kinky, taboo, and all free, the Alt.com site is a great option. The creators of Alt are the same people that created AFF and they know what taboo members want.
You do not need a credit card to join this site. You can message, view profiles, make connections, and more. All for free…
Cougarlife.com is a network that is free to join and abundant in mature women and men that want to connect with them. You’ll get plenty of messaging, chatting, and more without any credit card submitted. The company is run by Ruby Life Media and it’s a well-respected company.
There are seven other dating sites that are 100% free to join and worth checking out.
Mingle2 – A completely free hookup network owned by NextC, LLC with 39M members.
OkCupid – Dating deserves better and OkCupid claims to do that for consumers
eHarmony – 100% relationship-driven and matchmaking with free options for millions
Christian Mingle – A free Christian and catholic based dating network
OurTime -Free senior dating for all over 60
Chemistry – Heavy algorithm-based matchmaking network
Fdating.com – The “F” stands for free and it was created to provide free dating options for all.
If I missed a site, whether it’s mainstream dating or hookup, please leave a comment and I’ll add it to the list. Whatever you do, I suggest that you should definitely try one of these sites. Again, the approach that I’d take is joining one of the sites above for free then take the offer to upgrade. You’ll get way more out of them if you can, but it’s not necessary. Good luck hooking up!
You may hear the term “sugar daddy” being thrown around a lot more often these days. With a special thanks to the Internet and Social Media, the world of arrangement dating is growing like mad. Today we’ll talk about what an arrangement is, as well as cite some examples where people are open about their arrangements.
Simply put, arrangement dating is when the man pays the woman money in exchange for dates. This example can happen the other way around, but a typical dating arrangement is an older, normally wealthy man who pays his normally beautiful, younger date, and agreed upon amount of money to go on dates. These dates can include sexual encounters, which is why arrangement dating is often compared to prostitution, but it doesn’t always happen that way and like everything else in life, your mileage may vary.
I’m speaking from experience here, I’m a woman from New York City who has had a sugar daddy. This is my story. Real, raw, and uncut.
Let me first say, I have no problem finding men. I’ve always been a bartender at high end cocktail lounges in the City and drunk men throw themselves at me. I don’t want to sound like a braggart, it’s just part of my profession. When the bar I was working at was closed due to one of the owners being indicted, I was devastated. At 25, I wasn’t sitting on the savings that I should have been, living the fast pace New York City life and probably spending a bit more on rent than I should have. Hey, you only live once.
Lucky for me, a customer of mine helped me out with a short term loan when several weeks went by without any prospect of a new employer. When those weeks turned into months, and I started asking forgiveness on the loan, well, I knew I had a real issue. “You are so beautiful and bubbly, plus very strong willed, you should get yourself a sugar daddy,” my customer told me.
Curious, I took my search to the Internet where I was amazed at the amount of sites out there that allow you to create a profile, just like on Facebook, and put yourself out there to potential suitors. At first, I refrained. I slept on the decision and brought it up to a girlfriend of mine over coffee. Embarrassed, I sheepishly asked her what her take was on sugar dating.
“Are you kidding me? I’ve done that before. You set the rules and you won’t have any shortage of suitors,” she laughed.
After making her pinky swear she wouldn’t tell anyone, and vice versa, she helped recommend some websites and gave me a huge one on one mentorship of what goes on in that world. I was in awe at this world, so much so that the same very evening I started making profiles on a few websites to see what would happen.
Finding a sugar daddy was as simple as creating a profile, filling out some information like what I was interested in, my height, body style, and desired arrangement. Within hours, I had many messages from suitors who ranged from direct, to dirty.
I filtered out the dirty ones and talked to the men who were gentlemen in their exchanges. I wasn’t looking to be someone’s sex toy, no matter what they were willing to pay me. I decided that I would hold a stance and find a guy who wanted to show me off and do some fine dining, shows, things like that. If I was into him, I had no problem being romantic with him.
And that’s how it started. Four short dates later, I had men paying my bills, taking me on short trips, and showing me the finest parts of New York City. I only became romantic with one man, and when I did, we started an official arrangement. I won’t get into our details, but let’s just say we both were made equally happy. This lasted many months, until his job took him abroad and the arrangement was impossible to sustain. So, back to the websites I went, looking for that next Mr. Right, a good blend of not over the hill old, a bit of wealth, and social enough to want to hit the town with a much younger woman. I feel my experiences gained were so valuable, so legendary, that I had to share them, even if just generic and of course, withholding identities. This page is the culmination of four years in the sugar dating scene, and I only ended my epic run because I found the man of my dreams and we are engaged.
#1: You Must Put in Effort
If you don’t put in the effort, you won’t get anything out of the experience of finding a sugar daddy.
#2: Qualify Your Potential Match
If he wants to do something low key that doesn’t cost much money, odds are he’s not ready to invest in a woman like you. Pick a fancy restaurant or edgy cocktail lounge that will make him open his wallet. If his idea of an initial meet up is tap beers and burgers, RUN.
Also, let’s be honest. This is your time. Pick something that YOU want to try. Do it for the ‘gram, or whatever. Your time is valuable too!
#3: Keep Him Guessing
Until you get to that moment where it’s inevitable that you will be a couple, if you ever desire to get there, make sure not to spend too much time with him. A night or two a week is fine, but when you are together 24-7 he’s going to assume you are his girlfriend in real life and when that happens, the money dries up and favors are asked. You want to limit time to make him want more. This will also help you line your pockets with cash.
#4: Set Boundaries
You have limits, both with your time and what you are willing to do. If he’s making you feel like a cheap prostitute, you need to let him know this or run away from that situation. Control is key here, so set boundaries with all aspects of life, even if it’s just something as simple as who he can bring around you. When you set boundaries, there is zero chance of a misunderstanding or awkward moment going forward.
#5: Don’t Be Afraid to Ask
He wants you to look your best, right? This reasoning should help you get what you want. A personal trainer, supplements, a spa day, maybe even plastic surgery. Don’t be afraid to ask him for these luxuries and sell it with the purpose of saying he gets to enjoy the new you.
Follow these four rules and you’ll be on your way to luxury vacations, lavish dinners, and unforgettable experiences. Bonus points if you get a new set of boobs. 🙂
Started by Brandon Wade, this is one of the only websites in the sugar daddy dating space that has a face behind it. It’s widely considered the most trustworthy dating site for sugar babies and it just may have the largest user base as well. They make it very clear, Seeking Arrangement is NOT for escorts. However, where there is smoke, there is fire. So ladies, know that you are going to be competing against some pro’s on this site more than probably any other website. I personally know of escorts and strippers that frequent this site.
It’s been stated that there are over 5 million members, and growing, on Seeking.com.
When you sign up at Seeking.com, you’ll be asked for your gender, account type (baby / daddy / mommy) and your interest. (Women, men, or both.)
You also are asked how much you’d like your ideal arrangement to be, that is, how much you expected your sugar daddy to spend on you. If you are on the other side, they’ll ask what your budget is.
You can login with your email address or Facebook account. If you are a college student and want to let that be known, simply use your .edu email address and you’ll get an upgraded membership to the premium level.
The expectations at Seeking Arrangement is that you will meet face to face. The platform isn’t the best for chatting, but it does log all communication and show the last time someone viewed your profile and messaged you. You do have the ability to have “private” photos that you can elect to hide from everyone until you feel comfortable sharing them. I had a lot of success on seeking arrangement by asking a few starter questions to wannabe sugar daddies before showing them the private stash of pics.
You can also get your background checked by Optimum Screening. This helps you stand out as well.
Overall, I found the member base at Seeking Arrangement to be very large and diverse, and the platform is very clean and easy to use.
Another website owned by Brandon Wade is called WhatsYourPrice.com.
If you’ve ever wanted guys to bid on your availability for a date, this is the site for you. In an auction style environment you can have the masses bid on a chance to date you. The average price of a first date is reportedly $125. Hopefully, with that you can at least get a solid meal or show from the lucky winner!
Note: I did NOT try this site and can not speak from first hand experience.
Sugar Baby Rules
Miami, Las Vegas, New York City, and Phoenix tend to be the best cities for arrangement dating. This is because of the amount of wealth that resides in the area and the fact that rich men live in more happening cities that tend to have many gentlemen’s clubs at their disposal as well.
I know of friends who have successfully found a sugar daddy on Instagram. While I think this is a little bit weird, it’s entirely doable. Here are tips I gathered from friends who did well with this tactic.
#1: Make sure you use a “burner account.”
Definitely don’t want anything to go wrong and have Mom or Dad find out on a gossip site! Make a fake account and be discreet about it. Do NOT friend your friends like you would on your normal account. If you do get caught, “it’s fake and it’s not me!”
#2: Make Insinuations that you are a Sugar Baby
Follow guys who use hash tags like “wealthymale” or “sugardaddy.”
#3: Post Sexy, Provocative Pics
This is key. Put that out there like bait on a fishing rod.
#4: Hashtags, Hashtags, Hashtags!
#PayMyBills #SeekingArrangement #SugarDaddy #MillionaireMatch #SpoilMe #WantingSugar #Seeking #Luxury #SugarBaby #SD #SB
And on, and on.
#5: Dig Deep
Sugar Daddies hang out at cigar bars, luxury lounges, sporting events, and golf clubs. Look for hashtags that suggest they are into that life and follow those guys. You can also use your city as a geo-locator.
#6 It’s a Numbers Game
Send as many messages as possible, but make sure they are personalized so you don’t look like a spammer.
If you think too hard about your sugar daddy login or sugar baby user name, you aren’t thinking about the right things! Think more about your profile and how you word your bio, and also the pics you upload. A user name means nothing to anyone, but if you want to do something catchy, try to be playful and add things like:
Your Skin Color: TanKatrina69
Your Favorite Season combined with an animal: SnowAnimal
Something to do with Your Body: BigBootyJoanna
Personally, I think we’re wasting time on the details, and there are better ways to spend time that fretting over a screen name!
There’s actually a sugar baby allowance calculator. Wait, there’s even a sugar baby allowance reddit thread!
To help out all the Latinas out there, (shout out to Miami, a HUGE destination for arrangements) I’m adding some stuff in Spanish.
Un Sugar Daddy es alguien que te cuida con plata. Es una persona que sale con mujeres mas joven y les dan dinero para acompanarlos. A veces son viejos de como 70 anos per tiene una novia joven que esta bien bonita.