You may hear the term “sugar daddy” being thrown around a lot more often these days. With a special thanks to the Internet and Social Media, the world of arrangement dating is growing like mad. Today we’ll talk about what an arrangement is, as well as cite some examples where people are open about their arrangements.
Simply put, arrangement dating is when the man pays the woman money in exchange for dates. This example can happen the other way around, but a typical dating arrangement is an older, normally wealthy man who pays his normally beautiful, younger date, and agreed upon amount of money to go on dates. These dates can include sexual encounters, which is why arrangement dating is often compared to prostitution, but it doesn’t always happen that way and like everything else in life, your mileage may vary.
I’m speaking from experience here, I’m a woman from New York City who has had a sugar daddy. This is my story. Real, raw, and uncut.
Let me first say, I have no problem finding men. I’ve always been a bartender at high end cocktail lounges in the City and drunk men throw themselves at me. I don’t want to sound like a braggart, it’s just part of my profession. When the bar I was working at was closed due to one of the owners being indicted, I was devastated. At 25, I wasn’t sitting on the savings that I should have been, living the fast pace New York City life and probably spending a bit more on rent than I should have. Hey, you only live once.
Lucky for me, a customer of mine helped me out with a short term loan when several weeks went by without any prospect of a new employer. When those weeks turned into months, and I started asking forgiveness on the loan, well, I knew I had a real issue. “You are so beautiful and bubbly, plus very strong willed, you should get yourself a sugar daddy,” my customer told me.
Curious, I took my search to the Internet where I was amazed at the amount of sites out there that allow you to create a profile, just like on Facebook, and put yourself out there to potential suitors. At first, I refrained. I slept on the decision and brought it up to a girlfriend of mine over coffee. Embarrassed, I sheepishly asked her what her take was on sugar dating.
“Are you kidding me? I’ve done that before. You set the rules and you won’t have any shortage of suitors,” she laughed.
After making her pinky swear she wouldn’t tell anyone, and vice versa, she helped recommend some websites and gave me a huge one on one mentorship of what goes on in that world. I was in awe at this world, so much so that the same very evening I started making profiles on a few websites to see what would happen.
Finding a sugar daddy was as simple as creating a profile, filling out some information like what I was interested in, my height, body style, and desired arrangement. Within hours, I had many messages from suitors who ranged from direct, to dirty.
I filtered out the dirty ones and talked to the men who were gentlemen in their exchanges. I wasn’t looking to be someone’s sex toy, no matter what they were willing to pay me. I decided that I would hold a stance and find a guy who wanted to show me off and do some fine dining, shows, things like that. If I was into him, I had no problem being romantic with him.
And that’s how it started. Four short dates later, I had men paying my bills, taking me on short trips, and showing me the finest parts of New York City. I only became romantic with one man, and when I did, we started an official arrangement. I won’t get into our details, but let’s just say we both were made equally happy. This lasted many months, until his job took him abroad and the arrangement was impossible to sustain. So, back to the websites I went, looking for that next Mr. Right, a good blend of not over the hill old, a bit of wealth, and social enough to want to hit the town with a much younger woman. I feel my experiences gained were so valuable, so legendary, that I had to share them, even if just generic and of course, withholding identities. This page is the culmination of four years in the sugar dating scene, and I only ended my epic run because I found the man of my dreams and we are engaged.
#1: You Must Put in Effort
If you don’t put in the effort, you won’t get anything out of the experience of finding a sugar daddy.
#2: Qualify Your Potential Match
If he wants to do something low key that doesn’t cost much money, odds are he’s not ready to invest in a woman like you. Pick a fancy restaurant or edgy cocktail lounge that will make him open his wallet. If his idea of an initial meet up is tap beers and burgers, RUN.
Also, let’s be honest. This is your time. Pick something that YOU want to try. Do it for the ‘gram, or whatever. Your time is valuable too!
#3: Keep Him Guessing
Until you get to that moment where it’s inevitable that you will be a couple, if you ever desire to get there, make sure not to spend too much time with him. A night or two a week is fine, but when you are together 24-7 he’s going to assume you are his girlfriend in real life and when that happens, the money dries up and favors are asked. You want to limit time to make him want more. This will also help you line your pockets with cash.
#4: Set Boundaries
You have limits, both with your time and what you are willing to do. If he’s making you feel like a cheap prostitute, you need to let him know this or run away from that situation. Control is key here, so set boundaries with all aspects of life, even if it’s just something as simple as who he can bring around you. When you set boundaries, there is zero chance of a misunderstanding or awkward moment going forward.
#5: Don’t Be Afraid to Ask
He wants you to look your best, right? This reasoning should help you get what you want. A personal trainer, supplements, a spa day, maybe even plastic surgery. Don’t be afraid to ask him for these luxuries and sell it with the purpose of saying he gets to enjoy the new you.
Follow these four rules and you’ll be on your way to luxury vacations, lavish dinners, and unforgettable experiences. Bonus points if you get a new set of boobs. 🙂
Started by Brandon Wade, this is one of the only websites in the sugar daddy dating space that has a face behind it. It’s widely considered the most trustworthy dating site for sugar babies and it just may have the largest user base as well. They make it very clear, Seeking Arrangement is NOT for escorts. However, where there is smoke, there is fire. So ladies, know that you are going to be competing against some pro’s on this site more than probably any other website. I personally know of escorts and strippers that frequent this site.
It’s been stated that there are over 5 million members, and growing, on Seeking.com.
When you sign up at Seeking.com, you’ll be asked for your gender, account type (baby / daddy / mommy) and your interest. (Women, men, or both.)
You also are asked how much you’d like your ideal arrangement to be, that is, how much you expected your sugar daddy to spend on you. If you are on the other side, they’ll ask what your budget is.
You can login with your email address or Facebook account. If you are a college student and want to let that be known, simply use your .edu email address and you’ll get an upgraded membership to the premium level.
The expectations at Seeking Arrangement is that you will meet face to face. The platform isn’t the best for chatting, but it does log all communication and show the last time someone viewed your profile and messaged you. You do have the ability to have “private” photos that you can elect to hide from everyone until you feel comfortable sharing them. I had a lot of success on seeking arrangement by asking a few starter questions to wannabe sugar daddies before showing them the private stash of pics.
You can also get your background checked by Optimum Screening. This helps you stand out as well.
Overall, I found the member base at Seeking Arrangement to be very large and diverse, and the platform is very clean and easy to use.
Another website owned by Brandon Wade is called WhatsYourPrice.com.
If you’ve ever wanted guys to bid on your availability for a date, this is the site for you. In an auction style environment you can have the masses bid on a chance to date you. The average price of a first date is reportedly $125. Hopefully, with that you can at least get a solid meal or show from the lucky winner!
Note: I did NOT try this site and can not speak from first hand experience.
Sugar Baby Rules
Miami, Las Vegas, New York City, and Phoenix tend to be the best cities for arrangement dating. This is because of the amount of wealth that resides in the area and the fact that rich men live in more happening cities that tend to have many gentlemen’s clubs at their disposal as well.
I know of friends who have successfully found a sugar daddy on Instagram. While I think this is a little bit weird, it’s entirely doable. Here are tips I gathered from friends who did well with this tactic.
#1: Make sure you use a “burner account.”
Definitely don’t want anything to go wrong and have Mom or Dad find out on a gossip site! Make a fake account and be discreet about it. Do NOT friend your friends like you would on your normal account. If you do get caught, “it’s fake and it’s not me!”
#2: Make Insinuations that you are a Sugar Baby
Follow guys who use hash tags like “wealthymale” or “sugardaddy.”
#3: Post Sexy, Provocative Pics
This is key. Put that out there like bait on a fishing rod.
#4: Hashtags, Hashtags, Hashtags!
#PayMyBills #SeekingArrangement #SugarDaddy #MillionaireMatch #SpoilMe #WantingSugar #Seeking #Luxury #SugarBaby #SD #SB
And on, and on.
#5: Dig Deep
Sugar Daddies hang out at cigar bars, luxury lounges, sporting events, and golf clubs. Look for hashtags that suggest they are into that life and follow those guys. You can also use your city as a geo-locator.
#6 It’s a Numbers Game
Send as many messages as possible, but make sure they are personalized so you don’t look like a spammer.
If you think too hard about your sugar daddy login or sugar baby user name, you aren’t thinking about the right things! Think more about your profile and how you word your bio, and also the pics you upload. A user name means nothing to anyone, but if you want to do something catchy, try to be playful and add things like:
Your Skin Color: TanKatrina69
Your Favorite Season combined with an animal: SnowAnimal
Something to do with Your Body: BigBootyJoanna
Personally, I think we’re wasting time on the details, and there are better ways to spend time that fretting over a screen name!
There’s actually a sugar baby allowance calculator. Wait, there’s even a sugar baby allowance reddit thread!
To help out all the Latinas out there, (shout out to Miami, a HUGE destination for arrangements) I’m adding some stuff in Spanish.
Un Sugar Daddy es alguien que te cuida con plata. Es una persona que sale con mujeres mas joven y les dan dinero para acompanarlos. A veces son viejos de como 70 anos per tiene una novia joven que esta bien bonita.