It doesn’t matter if you get her number from an app like Fling or if you met her one night while going out, you’ll eventually have to send her a text. Knowing exactly what to text her once you have her number is a challenging situation for many guys.
You need to remember that it only requires some practice in order to get this first text right. And the truth is, getting yourself in the right headspace is going to make this text a heck of a lot easier.
Whether you know it or not, you have a whole lot riding on getting this first text message right and many guys have a tendency to think too much about it. The overall goal of the information I’m sharing is to help you crush the mental barriers blocking you from success. Once this is possible and achievable, you’ll know exactly what you need to say to this girl after you’ve gotten her number and it will become very easy for every girl after this.
If you’re like most young guys just starting out in the dating world, you’re feeling a great deal of insecurity on a personal level which is creating massive anxiety. You feel uncertain and do not know what to do, and you’re worried that she may not want to hear from you among other things. You might not even know precisely why she actually gave her number to you.
If confidence is still something troubling you because you lack it, we definitely have some great information to share with you today. This info will make it simple to boost your confidence, and your dating life will improve tremendously over the long run.
I just started and I’m already throwing out the word confidence which may make you feel a little bit intimidated. But believe it or not, the fact that you’re going to communicate for the first time via text is actually a major advantage. You aren’t on the phone or talking in person, so you can actually articulate your thoughts and think them through before sending them.
This girl likely doesn’t give her phone number to every guy that comes along. She’s likely very excited and waiting to hear from you. This should make you feel confident already since she was willing to give you her number.
If your confidence is still lacking, you have time to work up the courage to feel confident and strong. You can fake it until you make it, as the saying goes. This isn’t a good long-term strategy because you need to develop real-world confidence, but it’s a great way to get started nonetheless and it will help you have success in the short-term. But real confidence is what’s going to give you success over the long term.
It’s okay to get flustered and panicky before sending your message. But, no matter how you feel on the inside, your message has to exude confidence and calm. This is how you are going to make a great first impression with this girl.
Are you having a tough time figuring out what confidence looks like? Think about some of the classically confident movie and TV characters. James Bond is a great example. Harvey Spector from Suits is another smooth and confident man with the ladies. And Gatsby definitely has massive confidence. Think about these characters and think about their personalities and headspace and see if you can get inside of it.
These characters epitomize confidence and suave. You aren’t trying to be an exact replica of them, but you want to take some of their best confident characteristics and use them in a way that is personal to you.
This technique will help you send the right text message that doesn’t sound too needy or weak. Some examples that are very effective include…
“Hey Sally, I had a great time meeting you the other night. It was so much fun spending time with you. Do you have time to grab a cup of coffee soon?”
Another possibility to consider using New York City as an example location:
“Hey Sally, I had a fun time last night. There’s a new bar opening on Fifth Avenue. Would you like to come with me to check it out next Thursday?”
Talk to her on equal footing and take the lead in your conversations. This will set you on the right path right away.
Deciding what to text a girl once you got her number can be a really anxious experience, and many guys end up sounding way too formal at first. If you’ve spent an hour analyzing your quick text message, you’ve likely made it really impersonal by editing the crap out of it.
If this seems like you, read the text as if it was one you were sending to one of your good friends. When inviting out a girl, think about the way you would invite a friend for a night out.
If you were just texting to say hi to start a conversation, how would you do this with a friend? You’d likely mention a nickname, or reference a joke that only the two of you and a few others might understand, or you’d make a laid-back comment.
You have to be casual to be successful in modern dating. If you’re too formal it will sound awkward and forced.
After a night out drinking, say something like, “How you holding up?” This is short, friendly, to the point, and casual but it doesn’t put you in the friend zone.
Everybody knows about the three-day rule, right? Some people actually pay attention to this foolish rule. But this is a relic that no one should ever listen to anymore.
In today’s dating world everything happens very quickly. Say you meet her out on a Friday night. If you wait until Monday, it may already be too late.
She’s likely on a lot of dating apps just like you. Three days means she may have had an additional 40 matches and lots of other conversations happening at the same time.
Your face-to-face meeting gave you an advantage. But you could easily throw that advantage away if you wait three days or just way too long.
Using websites and dating apps is a great idea. But when you meet a girl while going out, you’re actually ahead of the competition and you want to stay there at all times.
No matter what went on, getting to the point where she gave you her number means you definitely had a conversation. There was likely playful banter involved and private jokes.
Creating private jokes is easy. Comment on something that she was wearing or something that she did while you were out together. It’s about observational humor and the joke itself doesn’t even matter. It’s the personalization and it’s something that should be definitely mentioned when you text her for the first time.
Why? This will remind her about the great time you had in each other’s company the other night when you met. It’s also a great way to build rapport.
I typically tend to use jokes about myself. I like to comment on my outrageous phone case or my crazy hairstyle.
Who knows? We may even have talked about this the night that we met.
So,I end up saying something like this in my first text:
“Hey Sally, remember the guy with the amazing hair? That’s me! I have an idea for a fun Friday night. But you have to promise to keep your hands off of me!”
Or another possibility…
“Hi Sally, how are you getting over your hangover? Let me know if you recover by Sunday because I have an awesome idea for a fun night out. I don’t want to ruin the surprise, so let me know what you think!”
Using stupid and goofy humor is always a great icebreaker and it works for me. It may work for you too. Just remember to add private jokes that personalize the message. This casual banter will make her feel less awkward and give her the confidence to send you a funny message back. She’ll feel natural talking to you again like she did the night out at the bar.
Easy banter makes for fun conversations. It helps build rapport and makes everything less complicated. You’ll have a much simpler time getting in the correct headspace as well.
Please use these tips to your advantage the next time you get a girl’s number for the first time. You’ll have a lot of fun communicating with her right off the bat and it will set the tone for your next date in a much more positive way. Believe it or not, these effective and simple messages really work and you won’t blink twice the next time you have to text a girl for the first time.